I'm Erin Stafford

A no-BS San Diego dating writer, speaker, marketer and change-maker with big dreams. Obsessed with: singing at the top of my lungs in the car, happy hour, charcuterie boards, tennis and Pilates. 

And yes, I have two different colored eyes.

Have we met ?

And by "they" I mean pretty much every guy on the planet. I've been on countless dates, been ghosted and had my heart broken more times than I care to admit.

Sure, guys say they’re attracted to confident, independent women...unless you make more money than them, have a better title or more education.  

I feel like I need a good divorce under my belt just to be normal at 40.

It all began when they said "No."

But I refuse to believe that being a successful woman means you’re destined for spinsterhood. Despite everything, I survived, thrived and came out the other side. I met my Mr. Right at 39, am trying to have a baby and head up the marketing department for a $3 billion company.

Yet now that I have what I've always wanted (for the most part), I'm struggling to adjust to the new transitions that come with it — like living with a boyfriend for the first time, letting my tennis game slip to ensure we spend enough time together and not working 80 hours a week in an attempt to reduce my stress level so that I might actually get pregnant. In short, not being the best at everything in every area of my life. As much as we want to, we can't do it all. 

So if you need inspiration and tools to help you live your best life, coupled with funny, oh-my-God-that-happened-to-me-too dating stories, you’re in the right spot. We'll navigate the ever-evolving transitions that come as you move through different phases of dating, relationships and your career. I welcome you with open arms and can’t wait to share this crazy experience with you.


Straight talk, strong coffee, short emails, belly laughs, cutting out the 'meh' to make room for the very best.


Pretending, gluten, making myself smaller to accommodate a man, chardonnay - it should be illegal!


Writing books, giving virtual keynotes, cheering on women, drinking wine in a travel mug watching the sunset at the beach.

daily rituals

Morning gratitude journal, cuddles with my puppy, green smoothies (except when I'm craving bacon), Pilates, non-toxic skincare. 





The Crown

Sauv blanc, duh!

Pretending by Holly Bourne 

French fries



Country, as usual

My Favorite Things

Baxter snuggles! Like everyone else, I got a puppy during quarantine and he makes everything better.

my happy place!

The Beach! The smell, the breeze, the laid-back vibe, I love it all. It's my place to relax and unwind. (And I'll take you down in Smashball any day!)

Weekend wine tasting. I love all wine, but I realllllly love New Zealand Sauv Blanc. It's grassy, citrusy and not too sweet. Perfect for the pool, the beach or anywhere, really. 

My Favorite Things

Sunshine. Wayfarers kickstarter semiotics, quinoa godard dreamcatcher hexagon pop-up hoodie.

my guilty pleasure

view more >

Ice cream. Microdosing gochujang keffiyeh salvia. Hoodie knausgaard art party.

Photos! Hashtag fashion axe palo santo fanny pack, ramps cornhole messenger bag asymmetrical direct trade slow-carb everyday carry chartreuse tofu godard.

This      That











night owl





Where I stand on the super important stuff... Agree / disagree? 

let's work together

I can't wait to get to know you better. I created this community so you feel seen, heard and know you're not alone. I want to help you navigate the transitions that come with trying to manage dating, relationships and your career.

did we just become best friends?